A Birthday Card for Dad

Phil putting out the birthday cake

Dear Dad,

Happy Birthday! These are the last pictures I have of you celebrating your special day. You look so happy, everyone making a fuss over you on your birthday! You always loved a family gathering -- they were always big with lots of people and lots of commotion. This was no exception. I will always remember you this way, with that crooked smile that you smiled when you were really tickled with something.

What were you calculating before blowing out your candles?

As we were eating dinner last night, Chi said something funny and it made Thomas laugh. He smiled that same sweet, crooked smile, the one he inherited from you. It made my heart burst, both with joy and sadness. It's funny how God has given us little pieces of you, inherently programmed into our Little Nguyens. I love that. The best things about you are alive in them.

I know you hear me when I talk to you. Before school today, Thomas wanted to be sure you heard him wish you a happy birthday. He said, "Dear God, please get Grandpa so he can hear this. (pause) Happy Birthday, Grandpa!" I laughed and cried at the same time! I know you laughed, too.

Somehow, I feel that if I actually write down this birthday-card-in-my-head and send it out there into cyberspace, maybe you will be able to read it. I have heard your voice in my head so many times in the past few months, saying things I always remember you saying-- things that never meant much to me at the time, but things that are synonymous with my memory of you. During some really difficult moments in parenting this last month (stubbornness is another thing the Little Nguyens inherited, as did I!), I heard your words loud and clear, and it made me proud when Mom told me, "You and Chi did exactly what Dad would have done." I married a man who I love with all my heart, and even though I didn't know it at the time, part of me loved him for being so much like you. I have always heard that girls want to marry a man like their father. So true, isn't it, even though we don't realize we are doing it? Being who you were was an unexpected gift -- and I get to unwrap a little bit of you every day, over and over again, and each time I see that crooked smile in Thomas or that foot-stomping stubbornness in Benjamin, you are reminding me that you are alive in them. And I am sure you are smiling and chuckling at them-- if I ever stomped my foot at you, I apologize!

Blowing out your candles with Uncle Jack

We'll be enjoying some cake in your honor today. Thomas remembered that you loved strawberry ice cream (as does he), and he remembered eating it with you several times last summer. Remember that steamy August day when we took you for a stroll in the garden? We watched Ben and Thomas terrorize a frog in the courtyard. You laughed at them and said, "They are just being boys." We were all so hot when we came in -- strawberry ice cream was just what we all needed. So, after school, he wants to stop and get some strawberry ice cream to go with the cake. Hopefully, he won't find a frog in the yard and bring it inside!

With every bite tonight, I will think of you. Happy 87th, Dad! I love you!

Love,

Rabbit