I'm Not In Kansas Anymore...

I do not have a 4th grader.

I do not have a 4th grader.

I do not have a 4th grader.

Maybe if I close my eyes and recite that repeatedly, I will actually believe it and it will actually be true.

Yes. And my name is Dorothy and I have red slippers.



Ready for breakfast.

Alas, this isn't The Wizard of Oz.  I am not Dorothy and I do not own any ruby red slippers. I have my leopard print kitty flats, but those only make this 40-year old mom feel suddenly fashionable.  They don't give me magical powers.  They aren't tele-transporting me to Kansas.  They aren't turning back the clock.

Meow. I have a 4th grader.

Every morning when my alarm goes off, I think about this fact.  Now four whole weeks into the school year, I am still in utter shock and disbelief.  The First Little Nguyen is now more of a young man than a little boy, and his desire for independence is a topic that has been surfacing a lot lately.  Sadly, the hormones are there now, at times.  I have to think carefully about how to react (or not to react) and when to step away ("Mom, it's okay.  I've got it!" -- this is 9-year old code for, "Leave me alone and let me do it on my own.").  Sigh.  I guess these things are okay.  He relies on me less, he is his own person, and these are all good things.  This is the desired outcome, right?  His body is changing nd his shoulders are broadening.  A lot.  He asks things like, "Mom, why are my shoulders getting so big.  And my chest?"  and "Hey, Mom?   Can you buy me some of that deodorant stuff when you go to Target?  The kind that smells like Dad's?  Here, I'll write it on your shopping list."

Oh, boy.  We are definitely entering the next phase. 

I am really glad my 4th graders 3rd grade teacher taught him to use an agenda.  There are so many different homework assignments, science elective assignments, and AG projects to keep up with this year.  Just making sure they are done is enough to make my head spin, and I am so glad those organizational skills are somewhat in place with Benjamin.  It's a lot to keep up with, and I still have to look over things but he is really doing an amazing job with the amped up workload.   I usually just say, "Show me your assignments."  and "Let me look over them when you are done." so I can be sure they are finished.

While I think there are a bevy of talented and totally amazing teachers at his school, he has always needed more.  In the public schools, there isn't a formal "structure", if you will, for kids who need more than just a little challenge before the end of 3rd grade.  Parents have to fight for it, and this has always struck a nerve with me, even before I had children.  I dislike the word special, but I love the word differentiate.  Every single child is special, and they all have their specific needs.  We don't live in Beaver Cleaver's world anymore, and it doesn't work for everyone to sit in rows and be expected to progress.  Some need life skills, some social skills, some extra skills.  I know so many teachers who truly believe this and do a phenomenal job, bend over backwards, truly take to heart the learning needs of all children.  Teaching is the toughest job there is, next to parenting, of course.  Teachers have so many needs to consider.  After years of worrying about him not get "enough" and always trying to challenge him further so he wouldn't be bored, there is finally a legal structure in place (and a super-energetic AG teacher) to make sure he gets what he needs consistently, on a daily basis.  And, boy, is he ever excited about being able to test out of things he already knows so he can move on to something he doesn't.  In just a few short weeks, he has created and presented a data-driven PowerPoint presentation for his math group, discovered how to create single and double electrical circuits with various materials, begun practicing for Math Olympiads, and other interesting things.  He has always loved learning, but he is the type of person who is hard to teach because he knows the answers already.  This is surely annoying to teachers, and definitely something he has had to learn to be mindful of, but my heart has always ached for him that way.  I can see that he is happy with what he's doing, and that has made me relax a lot.  It has also made the struggle ease a bit.

I have to admit, I kind of second-guessed myself this year, wondering whether or not it would be okay to put a special treat in his lunchbox on the first day of school.  I figured, How many more years will you be able to?  When he saw it, he smiled and then said, "Mom, I like this!  But maybe don't put a bow on it next time.  Okay?"  Sigh.  A crushing blow.  There go all of my cute Pinterest lunchbox ideas.  He is forgiven every morning though, when he places a band-aid on my ouchie hear, giving me a hug as we enter school in the morning.  He pauses, looks around to make sure the coast is clear, and then hugs me and whispers, "Love you, Mom."  He needs me, but he doesn't want to need me, and her certainly doesn't want anyone to see that he needs me.  That's okay.  I know he still needs me, even when he says, "Mom, it's okay.  I've got it!"  Yes, you do.

 

Nice lunch box treat.  Now lose the bow.



My Two Little Nguyens -- ready to head off to school.



For some reason, being the mother of a 1st grader doesn't seem to be as much of a crushing blow to me, but it's still pretty hard to swallow because he isn't a baby anymore.  The Second Little Nguyen has become a reading machine over the summer.  He loves the old Curious George books and the Henry and Mudge books, and nearly every book he checks out from the library is a character-driven selection.  He has a knack for writing, and I can see how this could become his strength with his endless stream of ideas and information.  He is fearless at sounding out words when he writes, wheras it is sometimes a stumbling block for young writers.  And that's just him.  It's nothing I pushed.  Thomas is utterly amazed at everything he learns, and he is full of information about his day, his math lesson, his SuccessMaker score, the story Mrs. M read, the story he wrote, etc.  He has also become an independent homework-doer.  (Woo-hoo!  because keeping up 4th grade homework is killing me!) 

From a teacher perspective, there have been many joys for me this year.  For instance, I get to observe with great joy a more typical progression of reading ability with the Second Little Nguyen.  While he loves Henry and Mudge, his older brother totally skipped over that level,  moving right on from Itchy, Itchy Chicken Pox to Dinosaur:  Fact or Fiction? and the Magic Tree House series.  Everything, absolutely everything, is amazing to Thomas.  He is teachable because he didn't already read every book about apples or dinosaurs or magnets.  He takes everything at a much slower pace, and he is thorough.  He enjoys learning instead of speeding through every subject, every topic, in a single bound.  It's funny how different they are.  I can appreciate both kinds of learners, and I really appreciate seeing them develop the kinds of learning patterns that will carry them through life.



Finally...not a hand-me-down.  A watch of his own.





Reading his message.



Modeling his new timepiece.  A little bashful so early in the morning!

This little man got a new watch for his first day of first grade!  He had been wearing Benjamin's hand-me-down time-teaching watch, and it was pretty scratched and grimy.  I'm all for hand-me-downs, but having something new of your very own is a good thing.  He liked his note and put his new watch right on his wrist.  He has become a time-telling fiend, but I especially dislike when he yells up the stairs at me in the morning before school, "MOOOOMMM!  It's 7:58!  You have TWO minutes to be down here!"  He still has one very important time-telling lesson to learn:  he will probably always be calling up the stairs to a woman who is counting on those two extra minutes to put on her earrings!

 

 Thomas is a snuggly child, and I appreciate this greatly because it affords me a little extra cuddle time! He is the opposite of his older brother in many ways, but his most marked difference lies in the fact that he takes it slow. He isn't in a hurry to do things. Make no mistake, he gets it. But he chooses to be that way. I think this a great quality to have, and one thing that many people try so hard for in life. He won't miss things along the way! One thing, though, that has always concerned me about him is his sensitivity. He has always been reluctant to speak up for himself, but I am so glad that the summer, and a dose of maturity, has brought about a change in him. His teacher made it a point to tell me he actually asked to sit next to her on the first day. For those of you who have taught Thomas, you know this a major achievement!

While his older brother is less than enthused with ribbons and innovative lunchbox treats (really, I know he just doesn't want to be teased), Thomas is still excited about cookie cutter sandwiches and secret lunchbox notes.  He loves the surprises and still thinks chocolate milk is a treat.  He likes his sandwiches to be cut "like dinosaurs" and also likes "whole carrots" in his lunchbox, so he can eat them like Bugs Bunny.  There is still a little time with him, and I will make the most of it.  And he still has Boo Bashes and Gingerbread House building parties to look forward to for a few more years.  He's already planning his guest lists. 

While I try really, really hard not to be judgmental of teachers, I am very observant. Especially this year! It's hard not to be. I know all of the first grade teachers at his school, and their classrooms are all very enriching, exciting, structured places to learn. I try not to voice my preferences about one over the other, but I am a parent, too. I have to say, his teacher is a great match for him! Thank you, Mr. Baird! All I wanted was a good match. The Second Little Nguyen's classroom is near and dear to my heart, and I instantly had a good feeling walking into his room. I know a lot of amazing....amazing doesn't even begin cut it...first grade teachers. Mary S. Mary B. Ashley. Kelly. Nicole. Jen. Jenny. Cheryl. Sara. Bitz. Krista. Connie. Mary Ellen. And Mrs. M is going to rank right up there! What's more, Thomas had a good feeling and was excited to be in her class. There will be lots of opportunities for me to help out in the classroom this year, and I can't wait to get my hands dirty! Thomas keeps asking, "Are you coming to read with us today? Are you coming to help with math centers today?" October, honey. Mrs. M. will let me come in October. Can't wait!



A box of goodies.



I realize the the annual back-to-school treat that has become somewhat of a tradition in our house is probably more entertainment for me.  Really, on the first day of school, I am in shock and I just need something to help me deal with the quietness of the house!!!  But the boys have come to like the "guessing game" of trying to figure out what I will do. Thomas likes the fuss and feeling special, and Benjamin likes it too (just not in the company of his friends).  This year I was recovering from fun family-filled double baptism weekend, a swimming pool Mom cannonball contest, the sinus infection and a double ear infection that were probably the result of the contest, and pulling off a back-to-school breakfast and luncheon for the staff at school.  So, what I was really looking forward to was a little rest on the first day of school.  I didn't even skip off to Starbucks for my annual back-to-school Pumpkin Spice Latte!  To say the least, I didn't have a lot of energy to make something fabulous.  Another mom was talking about making apple cupcakes for her son, and I was so thankful for that.  This energy-zapped mom borrowed a little inspiration from her idea.  Sugar cookies were easy, and so was red royal icing!!  And it didn't require a trip to the grocery store, which meant I could lay down and rest.  The cookies baked in the morning, cooled, and I frosted and decorated them in about 10 minutes.  The box was easy, too, but a totally necessary part of the presentation, don't you think?  While they both liked them, Thomas was particularly tickled and said something like, "Mom, I've been wanting you to make these!  You made them just like Harris Teeter's!"  Sigh.  Yes.  He loves those bad things.



Never too old for a back-to-school surprise!



Apple sugar cookies

 

This little boy LOVES frosted sugar cookies.  His fav.




Might've added a bit too much red food coloring.  Notice the teeth!



So, it's back to the reality of school days and PTA stuff and homework and soccer games.  While the feeling of disbelief I have of being the mom of  these two big/little boys who are growing so fast is one I will have to find a way to get used to, I know I don't have ruby slippers and I can't perform miracles.  I can't slow things down.  Sometimes I feel like a monkey (or is that a wicked witch!?) flying through the air on a broom, but that's okay.  Reality is wild.  It's not like living in Kansas.  And clocks don't stop.